I don’t know if you’ve heard by now, but prized recruit Nerlens Noel is going to make ONLY THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION IN WORLD HISTORY at 8:45 tonight. And by that I mean he’s going to decide where he’s going to be playing next year. Georgetown is competing with Kentucky and some random school in upstate New York for Noel’s commitment, although Scott Boras has apparently infiltrated the college basketball recruiting process as well as there are rumors of a “mystery team” making a late push for Noel floating around.
Originally, this post was going to be about any recent news on Nerlens’ decision. But I changed my mind for a couple reasons. A. You’re probably googling “Nerlens Noel” at least as often as I am B. Nobody really knows anything and C. You’re probably searching Twitter for Nerlens Noel news at least as often as I am.
With that in mind, read on after the jump for a breakdown of Nerlens’ three possible/likely decisions and the appropriate reactions to each one. Remember, the longer it takes you to read this the closer to 8:45 it will be when you finish.
Well, I think I speak for all Hoyas when I say that this would be horrible. After spending all of last year in foul trouble, noted academic violator Fab Melo was a force in the middle of the vaunted ‘Cuse 2-3 zone and methinks Noel’s defensive impact very well could dwarf that of Melo. Also, although Noel isn’t the most polished offensive player out there he’s Hakeem Olajuwon compared to Melo. Any way you slice it, this wouldn’t be fun for the Blue and Gray faithful.
Appropriate Reaction: Tears and denial.
The odds-on favorite to land Noel, the Wildcats are the reigning national champions (at basketball AND couch burning, which has to be appealing), have John Calipari and, on a related note, have a pretty decent recruiting class without Noel and/or tonight’s other decision-announcer Shabazz Muhammad.
Calipari’s recruiting shenanigans (and most people’s general distaste for him and those shenanigans) aside, Kentucky makes a lot of sense— especially if Noel just wants to spend one year in college before departing for the greener pastures of the NBA. Even before this year’s national title run, Kentucky had reclaimed its status as one of the country’s elite programs and, thanks to Calipari, is a one-and-done factory of pretty epic proportions.
Appropriate Reaction: Some combination of fist-shaking at the heavens, muttered curses about Coach Cal and relief that it isn’t Syracuse.
I’ve been trying to talk myself into this for the past few weeks, with varying degrees of success. So far I’m hanging my proverbial hat on Georgetown’s history of success with big men (recently validated by the fantastic play of Roy Hibbert and Greg Monroe in the NBA), Noel’s mother’s rumored appreciation of Georgetown, this tweet from a Tilton classmate that I, of course, am in no way blowing out of proportion in my head and the fact that JTIII once pried Greg Monroe from the cold, dead hands of Duke and Coach K… so why can’t he do it again with Kentucky and Coach Cal?
Appropriate Reaction: There’s too many to list all of them, but here’s a few: The Frank the Tank, the Final Four (which clearly wouldn’t put entirely too much pressure/expectations on Noel at all), the always-popular everyone laugh at Syracuse option, the Chappelle-as-Rick-James, the Casual Hoya dance party, any combination of those five or, you know, spontaneous celebration of something awesome followed by measured analysis of Noel’s probable impact on next year’s team… but that’s a lot less fun. Let’s go with the dance party. We’re always open to suggestions, though, so if you have any let us know in the comments.